Thursday, October 9, 2014

Fanciful Answers To Phony Questions

Since you have
unwittingly stumbled across my newly created blog, I'd like to take the opportunity to share some questions from readers. Hopefully this will give you a better understanding of the blog and it's creator.

     Seems To Me... doesn't currently have any followers. It's
questionable that any human has read a single word from it besides my wife and brother, bless their hearts. So. I will concoct some phony questions that I think should be asked and answer them to the best of my ability. That's not dumb dear reader, just merely foolish!!! 

     Question: Why did you name this blog Seems To Me...?

     Answer: This was the opening chorus line from a song named Walk Away, by the James Gang, a 1970's rock group primarily led by singer/guitarist Joe Walsh. Joe later became a critical member of the Eagles. This simultaneously reveals my advanced age and poor taste in music!
     Question: What's with the subtitle Ramblings of a Southern Southpaw?

     Answer: Despite conventional wisdom to select a singular subject, I decided to blog about random thoughts or events as they weaved their way through everyday life. I'm left handed and from the south (South Carolina to be exact). No, it's not true that murder cases in the south are harder to solve because all southern DNA matches.


     Question: I hope you are a good writer because I've seen that profile pick. Know what I'm sayin'?

     Answer: Sighs, we all have our crosses to bear. I do on occasion get my facts mixed up. In fact, I used to think socialism was partying and a mime was a birth defect. As for looks, yeah, I got a hairline receding faster than Al Gore's polar ice caps and a nose that looks as if I'm eating a perpetual banana, but whatcha gonna do, right?

     Question: Why would I read this garbage?   
     Answer: I know that standing in line for a flue shot or being put on hold with your cable provider is more entertaining, but you ought to throw a dog a bone once in a while. 

     Question: What's your politics?

     Answer: Oh a trouble maker huh? I'll just say this: you'll never find me dropping my daughter off at Planned Parenthood on my way to an Obama fund raiser, then selling my guns to the government before attending the wedding of Mac and Bubba.

     Now that half the world has been alienated, it's time to get to work on the other half. Visit when you can. Maybe you'll find a nugget that'll make you chuckle. Who knows, you might even glean a bit of useful information. 

     Ya'll come back now, hear?